Everyone has one.
What is the one thing that makes you pick up your phone or tablet, the thing that you always do or that you get lost in – social media, checking texts/e-mails, selfies, food selfies, online shopping, watching videos, binge-watching shows, playing video games?
Our old vices (habits) are still there: alcohol, food, complaining, skipping the gym (exercise), gossiping, shopping, clutter-hoarding, worrying. We’ve now only added to them.
Earlier this month, my husband and I took the high-speed ferry across Lake Michigan from Muskegon to Milwaukee. As we were checking-in, one of the attendants was handing out Dramamine. We knew what that meant. Last year the same ferry trip was canceled due to high winds. The water in the inlet near the shore was choppy but the waves were tolerable. Kids were still watching videos on their tablets. People were still out for the views on the open upper deck, and I held off taking the Dramamine as I would become utterly useless until it fully wore off.
Then we hit the open waters, and everything changed fast. The upper deck was closed because the waves were crashing over it (lower deck vehicle parking, middle deck passenger seating, picture the intro to Gilligan’s Island.) Phones were put down, tablets put away, and everyone concentrated on riding the waves as the Dramamine stupor set in.
The kids didn’t know what had hit them as some staggered to the restroom while others grabbed and opened the little white bags, the ones you have never used on a flight. Parents consoled their cries and held the bags open even after a trip to the restroom all in front of the entire passenger audience. The crew, however, was fantastic rushing over and sweeping the parents and kids off to the private family restroom, grabbing paper towels, cleaner, ginger-ale assuring the passengers it would improve as we neared the other side.
We all made it with a congratulatory declaration from that amazing crew. But what was even more amazing is that we all survived the almost 3 hours without the Internet, without checking our phones, without watching videos. We concentrated on what mattered most, the well-being of those we treasure.
Vices don’t solve our problems. They only distract us from them. The distractions in life are the bad habits we have developed. They are “pre-reflective occurring below the level of conscious decision-making and some go against our best intentions.” Beyond the rhetoric of tech addiction: why we should be discussing tech habits instead (and how) | Phenomenology and the Cognitive Sciences (springer.com)
Habits, although difficult to change, differ from addictions in that we can change our behavior while continuing to include that action, activity or thing (checking texts, e-mails, shopping or consuming that certain food or favorite drink) in our life. Whereas addictions (smoking, alcoholism), the addictive behavior inherently bad for you can’t be overcome without completely eliminating the cigarettes and alcohol.
A week of dopamine fasting or dopamine detoxing isn’t going to change your technology behavior. Your technology vices and other bad habits must be trained and cultivated so they complement your life rather than distract you from it. Technology isn’t going away. It will only become more prevalent and embedded in our society. You won’t be able to eliminate it from your life. Debunking the Dopamine Detox Trend | The Scientist Magazine® (the-scientist.com)
Turning Vices into Assets | Psychology Today I’ve deleted all social media apps from my phone and tablet and can only access them on my laptop. I was set to read a book downloaded to my iPad on that disruptive ferry ride that I never even attempted but seek to do more of. There’s no prescriptive remedy of how to structure or do this. Everyone will approach and do it differently to fit their needs. I need to have my phone on my nightstand as does my husband. We can’t put them in another room. He gets calls in the middle of the night to notify him of some consequential failure at work. And I’ve set up Amazon Echo’s throughout my Mom’s condo so that all she has to say is, “Alexa, call for help” and Alexa automatically dials my phone number. I’ve tested it several times and it works.
Start small to train and cultivate your distracting behavior into something far more rewarding. This long weekend is a great time to start.
