Over the last 17 months, I have been a “ghost” executor of an estate. While not officially named, I did most of the work, transitioning an IRA to inherited ones, payout of a life insurance policy, annuity, savings bonds and trust. I learned a lot from the estate attorney, trust administrator and the internet, not only how estate distribution actually works but also how much personal finances remain a secretive endeavor. Often times, it’s not fully understood until after someone dies.
There is a secret club. It’s not this: The Secret Club That Runs the World, nor is it this Secret Club. It’s the opposite of this club where photos, videos and memes are plastered across social media with the intent to be seen and acknowledged.
This is a quiet club. Its members are unassuming, tacit but ordinary. They conceal their investing prowess not only from the public but from their family also. It resembles those described in The Millionaire Next Door, but more modern, less frugal with a greater emphasis on investing.
I recently discovered this secret club. Members were all in their 90’s whose status was only disclosed after they had passed away. Everyone including their immediate family thought they had run out of money. Until it was discovered they were avid, knowledgeable investors with significant funds, having earned it themselves and not by inheritance. These were women from all walks of life.
It is still not accepted to publicly display investing interest and knowledge as a woman. This is evident on social media posts by prominent financial professionals, both men and women. Both undeniably get far more engagement from men than from the few women working in the industry. There are far more women out there interested in investing and financial markets but it’s still not the norm to publicly display that interest in any form, especially on social media posts, likes and comments.
How do you change that? I don’t know. You may not. I’m still trying to understand it. Women are out there writing and supporting those in financial and investing markets with their expertise in sales, marketing, branding and coaching, but not by those who do the actual “investing.” I follow a number of prominent female investors and only a small minority publicly write about it.
The women who write books on how to invest, even the most recent ones, seem out-of-touch to me. It’s almost as if they are proving their worthiness of voicing their investing and financial expertise to men which then makes the book unrelatable to women. I think I do this on the About page of my website. I’m calling myself out and rewriting it.
As a woman, it’s ok to publicly show you are an avid novel reader, fitness or fashion expert, career guide, beauty consultant, wine & food connoisseur, travel planner or parental adviser. But there continues to be a stigma for women to publicly voice they are an avid investor. Many more women are investing but few ever talk about it.
100 Best Blogs for Women to Read in 2025
There is only one blog that focuses on financial topics to create a lifestyle premium brand at #83. “Culturally, women are still socialized to invest in their looks to get the return of a man who has and handles money.” – Anonymous Reddit writer
Culturally, men are taught to invest by talking stock picks, voicing investing strategies and boasting trading wins as if it were the play-offs, every day. It’s game talk.
This is the problem.
Women don’t talk about investing or learn openly amongst themselves. Either they learn about investing from well-informed parents and other family members or they learn in secret alone or not at all.
Women invest in stealth mode.
How do I know this? Reddit reveals fascinating evidence of how women learn to invest. For the most part, people on Reddit are civil and offer honest answers because everyone is anonymous and is moderated. A woman recently asked how she could learn to invest, and several women openly shared how they did it. Of course, there were men who popped into the comments with the sports game talk.
From Reddit:
“Women are less interested in trading due to it being a competitive sport.”
“A lot of investment circles are heavily male dominated, so often women, even if they do invest, don’t seek them out. Not to mention a lot of guys treat it like a sport, and statistically, women don’t use that approach.”
“When I bring up investing with female friends, I’m always the only one who does DIY index funds investing, and most don’t even know the basics. I absolutely do not consider myself at all knowledgeable about stocks, but most women I know don’t even know the basic stuff like compound interest. I never thought I was such an oddball for even knowing about investing index fund.”
“Hmmmm… I believe my friends invest but we don’t talk much about it. We talk about spending it not so much investment because it is quite dull.”
“Most of my girlfriends are interested in investing but don’t know where to start and it’s overwhelming.”
“When I hear dudes talk about investing it becomes this …. competition where they try and prove how smart they are. I sit there quietly with my portfolio of boring index funds, because if I try and participate, they tend to dismiss what I’m saying. But while they’re boasting about how they made $20k on some stock (while conveniently not talking about their losses), my networth just hit three quarters of a millions dollars.”
“I would love to invest but I’m afraid of investing in the wrong stocks… I know nothing about stocks and I’m afraid of trying.”
“To be in the space is to be talked over and condescended to by the broheims.”
“20 years ago when I first got interested in investing there just were not the many resources to learn, and what there was, was extremely bro-y.”
This secret club isn’t really exclusive to women. It’s those who have figured out either from a family member or own their own that quiet compounding is their preferred method of investing, not the boisterous, competitive way. I think a lot of men invest in stealth mode also. Quiet Compounding · Collaborative Fund We only see the “show me the money” club. Unraveling the Mystery – Cache Coach When what we really need is a “show me the way” club. One that has similar aspects of discovery and discretion like an executor of an estate, fiduciary responsibility and all.
Geraldine Weiss, the most important female investor you never heard of, passed away 3 years ago yesterday at the age of 96. She blazed a trail for women in investing that no other has done. Invest like a legend: Geraldine Weiss – The Globe and Mail
