There is so much missing context. Much of the online financial content is presented in video format where the goal is attention (views) with enticing titles to hook and draw you in to keep watching more. Even so much that a few weeks ago, my husband, an avid YouTube user, wanted me to watch a video to confirm it was real.
A woman named Mary whose husband had accumulated nearly a million dollars in debt, half of which was owed to the IRS, had called into The Ramsey Show. While Dave Ramsey, who wasn’t even on the segment, may be objectionable, there are desperate people in dire situations like Mary who have absolutely no one to turn to. Even the church where she was employed let her go because of the liability risk her husband posed being part of the sovereign citizen ideology.
I told him it was real, because you could tell by the underlying emotion in her voice and how she articulated the dire circumstances that she was in. The long-running show isn’t known for fake content. It’s just hard to fathom people being a million dollars in debt with no way out.
It’s also increasingly more difficult to discern what is real and what isn’t with the proliferation of AI generated content and self-proclaimed influencers and gurus using these tactics to be seen and heard above all the noise. The rise of the “finfluencer” or financial influencer peaked in 2021 just before the standout year of the raging “financial wildfire” of 2022.
The latest trend is coined the financial guru where the true ones are often overlooked for the ones with the best shortcuts, the ultimate hacks and the secret micro-habits.
However, you can’t hack or micro-habit your way to financial security, because this frames it into short-term thinking with actions that support short-term goals. Financial security requires long-term thinking to identify lifetime goals, values and the means to achieve and keep them. You have to become strategic. This requires a level of focus to understand and get comfortable with intangible, unknown, hard-to-grasp concepts that some just can’t do and most can’t do alone.
The knock-off financial gurus assume you already know what you want and that the problem is you just need a hack, a cheat code or the elusive trick to make you stick with it to realize the often-short-lived reward. It’s similar to the cognitive bias of hyperbolic discounting, which is the tendency to prefer smaller, immediate rewards over larger, delayed ones. This short-term bias makes it difficult for many to prioritize long-term saving over immediate spending.
To build financial security you can’t keep chasing the short-term with only a perception of progress. Discipline or a rigid routine isn’t necessarily the problem. It’s the clarity of knowing what and how to do it and then actually doing it yourself. Many of these so-called financial gurus feed you the most unrealistic expectations of how to get rich, not financial security. It’s what they think you want because it’s what they want never having truly attained it themselves.
It’s not that we can’t learn from others, their mistakes and how they’ve adapted to not repeating them. The presence of another person not only can change how we see the world but also help us see different possibilities (hope), patterns and next steps. It’s the relationships with better people who have the experience and a level of expertise to help us along the way.
These people are what I call influential connections in real life. The ones who have been there and done it. An influential person is someone who significantly affects the thoughts, actions or behaviors of another often due to their knowledge, accomplishments or position of importance to that person. They are the people we respect (colleagues, coaches, mentors, advisors, spouse, friends, family members) offering advice and support to us individually to help us advance ourselves making a significant impact.
When we’re intentional about who those people are in our life, that influence can be transformative. The biggest hurdle is to find someone you trust who’s further down the path than you are to emulate. Ask them about something simple to begin the conversation like who they bank (mortgage) with or their insurer. It opens the door to insightful conversations.
I’ve said this before, but I learned the most from higher level colleagues I worked with. I gained insight of who to trust by talking with them about wide-ranging subjects and asking them for recommendations. It’s the initial ask that is most difficult especially on topics like personal finance and money.
Once you find an influential connection and understand that their help or advice can only be a catalyst to you changing and improving your situation, it’s only then that their advice truly becomes useful to you. If you’re looking to replace who you are by being them or someone else, then you will never succeed.
I can share the things you should know about modern money and technology. You can take these ideas and experiences with my dash of expertise into consideration, but ultimately, it’s how you apply it to your life that matters.
Find influential people who root for you, who hold you to a higher standard, who force you to think in new ways. Give your attention to those who give back.
These are hacks, my own personal best.
It is not eating the avocado toast with an egg and a drizzle of habanero or siracha aioli, it is the tightly sealed mason jar storing the remaining 2/3 of the cut avocado as discovered while staying at my Mom’s. All other storage hacks pale in comparison.
It is not enduring the 4:45 am morning routine, it is the Ferrari hair dryer I discovered coupled with the amazing air dry crème (natural or feminine). All because I won the micrometer testing in high school physics class for the thickest hair strand and any attempt at straightening the curls is nothing short of defying gravity. My brothers aptly named me “pelo grande” and would brush it out to proportions rivaling the most prolific hair bands of the 1980’s.
It is not fighting the wrinkles, it is releasing them with calming, crisp scented spray that is so ideal for leaving clothes in laundry baskets rather than on hangers in the closet or rumpled in a suitcase while traveling.
Self-Help is for Suckers – by Meghaan Lurtz
5 Problems With the Self-Help Industry